Cranberry relish

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Nutrition and extra info

Freezable Vegetarian Vegan

Nutrition: per serving

• kcal 83


• fat 0g


• saturates 0g


• carbs 18g


• sugars 16g


• fibre 3g


• protein 0g


• salt 0g

Ingredients

1 large article" data-tooltip-w >orange

Orange

One of the best-known citrus fruits, oranges aren't necessarily orange - some varieties are…

Ginger

Mainly grown in Jamaica, Africa, India, China and Australia, ginger is the root of the plant. It…

Cranberry

A tart, ruby-red coloured berry which grows wild on shrubs throughout northern Europe and North…

Method

Use a zester to zest the orange or use a peeler to peel off the zest, then finely shred it with a knife and set aside with the ginger. Halve and juice the orange.

Tip the orange juice and sugar into a shallow saucepan and boil gently until you get an amber-orange caramel. Scatter the zest and ginger into the caramel, cook for 1 min, then tip in the cranberries and Port, if using. Cook everything on a high heat for 5 mins until the cranberries are starting to split but still have texture. Leave to cool and serve with the turkey.

Corn pudding

Ingredients

• 1/2 cup butter, softened


• 1/2 cup sugar


• 2 large eggs, room temperature


• 1 cup sour cream


• 1 package (8-1/2 ounces) cornbread/muffin mix


• 1/2 cup 2% milk


• 1 can (15-1/4 ounces) whole kernel corn, drained


• 1 can (14-3/4 ounces) cream-style corn

Directions

• Preheat oven to 325°. In a large bowl, cream butter and sugar until light and fluffy. Add eggs, one at a time, beating well after each addition. Beat in sour cream. Gradually add muffin mix alternately with milk. Fold in corn.


• Pour into a greased 3-qt. baking dish or 13x9-in. baking pan. Bake, uncovered, until set and lightly browned, 45-50 minutes.

Test Kitchen Tips

For a Tex-Mex side dish, add a can of diced green chilies (or one of these other varieties) to the batter and top with 1 cup of shredded Monterey Jack before baking.

Want a more savory corn pudding? Simply omit the sugar. Then pair it with a few of these other healthy holiday-worthy sides.

Nutrition Facts

Reviews

Absolute Breeze, wonderfully tasty. Don't be afraid of the brown! I thought I accidentally left it in too long, but the middle was just nicely set and the edges were a lovely dark crispy brown with a nice bit of browning across the entire top.

Fabulous recipe. I used Greek yogurt instead of the sour cream and reduced the sugar to 1/4 cup. I took the test kitchens suggestion and added 1/2 cup of cheddar cheese and a 1/4 cup of chopped green chilies. We really enjoyed this recipe. VFE.

I used this recipe and me and my mom LOVED it, I used 1/4 sugar instead of 1/2 cup and I did 1/2 cup of sour cream instead of 1 cup. Came out perfectly!

A very similar recipe was given to me by my mother many years ago. My version has no eggs or milk and only one tablespoon of sugar. I bake it in a deep 2 qt. Casserole. Always take it to my office Christmas potluck and get rave reviews and no leftovers! I like the suggestion of adding green chilies and will definitely try that.

Far too sweet for our tastes, even with the sugar cut in half. Next time I will eliminate the sugar altogether and add some salt, pepper, and maybe onion powder. However, it rose beautifully and was light and fluffy.

Followed recipe exactly and casserole did not rise. Daughter made it a few weeks ago and had same results. Perhaps a 9x13 baking dish is too large.

This is a complete favorite of all my friends, family, and co workers. I do not modify anything other than a few more minutes cook time and I use light sour cream. For all the people saying it takes way longer or is dry (HOW!?) It is not supposed to "set" from cooking. The very center should very slightly jiggle when done, and if you poke it with a knife is should partially come out clean. If you make this in advance do NOT over cook. It will "Set" as it cools.

I have already made this recipe for a long time. I don't like to add as much sugar and I like to use fresh corn when I can. I have made it more like a main coarse and added green chilies and cooked hamburger, ham or sausage and then then added choice of cheese. I have also seen people keep in the sugar and serve it as a desert with ice cream. I also cook mine at 350 degrees for at least 50 minutes. I like it to be a little bit brown on the top. That way you know it is done all the way through.

First time I made this as written and it was a bit too sweet for my taste, so next time I omitted the sugar (Jiffy mix already contains sugar) and it was 5 stars. I have since made it as a Tex-Mex side with the addition of a can of green chilies topped with Pepper Jack cheese. I also baked at 350 degrees for 50 minutes in order for it to set. Lynne, Volunteer Field Editor

I make corn pudding with fresh corn cut off the cob. I have no use for canned crap.

Cooking a turkey

Pronounce it: terk-ee

While it's the traditional Christmas bird, turkey is good to eat all year round, though is only readily available as portions much of the year. Use our guide and learn how to cook a turkey to feed a crowd, including brining and carving.

Turkey has all the nutritional plus points of chicken, but with a slightly lower fat content, which is good for health, but does mean that the flesh can be on the dry side. Older turkey recipes advise basting a turkey regularly to keep the meat moist, but newer recipes cook turkey quicker and often use dry brines; leaving the turkey in salt and flavouring overnight. This draws moisture out, then it is reabsorbed, seasoning the meat and drying out the skin so it crisps up in the oven.

Discover how to brine a turkey, a key facet of our crown & confit recipe, to keep the meat succulent and full of flavour. Also, watch and learn how to carve a turkey in our video.

Recipes, tools and guides to help you cook the perfect turkey:

• We've got the perfect turkey recipe for you, whether you're looking for a traditional turkey recipe or a more modern version.


• For how long to cook your turkey for, check our roast calculator.


• Perfect your carving skills with our how to carve a turkey video.


• Check out our foolproof guide for what turkey size to buy and thawing times.


• Learn how to cook a turkey crown.


• Find inspiration for what to do with turkey leftovers.

How to defrost a turkey

If you buy a frozen turkey, make sure you allow enough time for it to defrost – it won't cook properly unless it is thoroughly defrosted at the start of cooking. If you're defrosting in your fridge, which should be set at 4C or below, allow 8 to 12 hrs per kg. In a cool room, which absolutely must stay below 17.5C, allow 3-4 hrs per kg.

How to prepare a turkey

1. Take off all the wrappings, put on a tray or plate wide and deep enough to contain any blood or juice that might seep out, cover loosely with foil and leave in the fridge or in a cool room.


2. After the turkey is defrosted, remove any giblets, check that there are no ice crystals inside the cavity and pat dry with kitchen paper both outside and in.


3. Before it goes in the oven, turkey should be at room temperature, so take it out of the fridge (1 hr for a whole turkey, or 30 mins for a cut) before cooking. Keep it covered in a cool place.

If desired, certain cuts of fresh or defrosted turkey can be marinated (for a minimum of 4 hrs) before cooking, to add flavour and moisture and to tenderise a little further. Slash the skin a couple of times to help the marinade penetrate further and keep covered in a glass or ceramic dish in the fridge.

What to do with giblets

Cover with water and add a peeled onion, carrot, celery stick, bay leaf and a glass of red wine. Simmer for 40 mins, then strain and you'll have the perfect stock to deglaze your turkey roasting tin.

How to remove the wishbone

Removing the wishbone from a raw turkey makes it easier to carve later, giving you neater slices. Pull back the neck skin until the wishbone is located. Using a small sharp knife, cut through the flesh under the contour of the bone on both sides just deep enough to free it. Then ease out, cutting it free at the tips.

Read more about choosing, defrosting and cooking turkey at the British Turkey Information Line or the Food Standards Agency.

How to cook a turkey

Basic recipe

• 1 free range turkey (5kg will feed 8)


• 50g butter


• seasoning

1. Heat oven to 180C/160C fan/gas 4.


2. Smear butter all over the turkey and season all over with salt and pepper.


3. Put in a roasting tin, breast side up, and roast for 40 mins per kilo for the first 4 kilos then 45 mins for every kilo over that weight, or until the internal temperature reaches 65-70C. For a turkey of this weight, the cooking time should be 3½-4hrs. The turkey will continue to cook and the temperature will rise more while it rests.


4. Remove the turkey from the oven and rest in a warm place for 30-45 mins, don’t skip this step as the juices won’t be reabsorbed back into the turkey and will run out if you carve it straightaway. Don’t cover the turkey too tightly if you want the skin to stay crisp but keep it warm.


5. Before serving your turkey, check that the meat is steaming hot throughout, there is no pink meat visible and when you cut into the thickest part of the meat, the juices run clear.

For accurate timing, always weigh your turkey after it has been stuffed. If it's very large, you may need to use bathroom scales.

How long to cook a turkey

The latest advice from the British Turkey information service is that, if the turkey is over 4kg, calculate 20 mins per kg, plus 90 mins. If the bird is under 4kg, calculate 20 mins per kg, plus 70 mins.

To test if it's done, make sure the juices run clear when you pierce the thigh where it meets the body. If not, put it back in the oven for another 20 mins, then test again.

Availability

Turkeys are at their best in December.

Choose the best

As is the case with all meat, turkey should be bought from a source that you trust – a good supermarket, local butcher, farmers' market or shop, or a website mail order company. Of those five sources, the last four are perhaps more likely to be able to tell you the most about the turkey – where it came from and how it was reared. Traceability like that will give you assurance that the turkey has been humanely treated while alive; the higher the standard of welfare by which a turkey was reared, the better the quality of the meat.

Read more about turkey farming at Red Tractor.

Organic turkey is the most expensive, as the most stringent farming standards will have been adhered to at all stages of the animal's life, including being allowed to roam outside during the day and being fed a mainly organic diet. As they are allowed to mature slowly their flesh is firm and flavourful, though, because they have had lots of exercise during their lives, they may be less plump than indoor-reared birds. Look for the Soil Association sticker if you'd like to buy organic.

Free-range turkeys should have had some access to the open air and are usually cheaper than organic. The Freedom Food label can also be used by producers that meet the RSPCA's welfare standards.

Battery (or 'factory') reared turkey are the most commonly available kind. They are rarely labelled as such, but the low price is a giveaway. Although such turkeys are more affordable, the conditions they endure are extremely grim, packed at high densities, with little room to move around and no access to sunlight – all of which produces a noticeably inferior meat.

Good breeds to look out for include Norfolk Black, Kelly Bronze and Cambridge Bronze. Reared slowly, in free-range conditions, they all have densely textured meat that is more flavourful and succulent than indoor-reared types. The phrase 'farm fresh' means that birds have been handled traditionally once slaughtered, i.e. dry hand-plucked (as opposed to wet-plucked, by which the turkey is immersed in very hot water to loosen the feathers, which are then mechanically removed) and hung for two weeks, which gives the flesh an enjoyably gamey flavour.

Whole birds should be roasted. Other portions are also available (either skin on or off, on the bone or boneless), including breast joints (roast), crown joints (the bird without its legs and wings, also good for roasting), breast steaks, escalopes (very thin steaks of turkey breast, good for pan-frying) and drumsticks (roast or braise).

Turkey mince is also available – it's very low fat and you can use it as you would minced beef, pork, lamb or veal. Whichever breed or cut you go for, choose turkey that is plump and well-rounded, with clear, soft and evenly coloured skin. Avoid those that have been unevenly plucked.

Store it

Put fresh turkey in the fridge as soon as you get it home. Take off all the wrappings, then wipe it all over (and inside the cavities) with kitchen paper. If it has come with giblets (the neck, gizzard, heart and liver) these should be removed and kept in a covered bowl in the fridge.

Put the turkey on a tray or a plate wide and deep enough to contain any blood or juice that might seep out. Cover loosely with foil. Make sure the turkey doesn't touch any other food in the fridge that's to be eaten raw, or meat that is already cooked.

Once a frozen turkey has defrosted (see 'prepare'), store it in the fridge straight away, as above, unless you are going to cook it immediately.

Whole birds and pieces of turkey will keep in the fridge for up to two days. Minced turkey should be cooked within 24 hours of purchase. Giblets can be used to make gravy and stock (but leave the liver out, as it can create quite a bitter taste) or stuffing, and should be cooked within two days of purchase.

Cookie bars

These Monster Cookie Bars are a variation of a monster cookie bar that’s been in my family for as long as I can remember. With a buttery oatmeal crumble, a soft & creamy peanut buttery filling and plenty of M&M’s, these bars will be gone in an instant!

Monster cookies. They’re like the cookie you make when you can’t decide if you want a chocolate chip cookie or an oatmeal cookie or something with peanut butter. A monster cookie combines M&M’s with chocolate chips, peanut butter and oatmeal….all packed into one glorious cookie. I’m pretty sure they named them “monster” cookie, because the bigger the better, right?!

A good monster cookie (or monster cookie bar) will be soft, chewy, peanut buttery and full of chocolatey goodness. But I’ve had monster cookies that just don’t quite cut it. They’re dry and crumbly. Or hard. Or don’t have enough chocolate chips and M&M’s (what a doozy).

When I’m in the mood for a monster cookie, I immediately think of my mom’s monster cookie bars. They have all the components of a monster cookie but in cookie bar form. Oh! And most importantly, they have the addition of a soft, gooey, peanut buttery middle layer. So, what are you waiting for?! Preheat that oven to 375F and let’s get rollin’!

In case you’re more of a visual learner (join the club!), here’s how the layers work!

Are Monster Cookie Bars easy to make?

YES. 100% yes. This is one I’d feel confident even handing over to my hubby to make �� Actually he’s pretty good in the kitchen, but even a beginner can whip these up! As much as I love cookies, I dislike the time it takes to scoop the cookies out, switch out pans in the oven, scoop them to the cooling rack, and repeat a gazillion times.

You’ll make an oatmeal crumble mixture and press most of it into a pan and bake. Then you’ll top it with a creamy peanut buttery mixture, sprinkle with chocolate chips, M&M’s, and the remaining oatmeal mixture and finish baking. Are you drooling yet?!

Steps to make Monster Cookie Bars

1. Preheat oven to 375°F.


2. Combine the oatmeal, brown sugar, soda, flour and salt; stir in the melted butter until combined.


3. Press all but 1 1/2 cups of the oatmeal mixture into a greased 9×13 pan (saving the remaining 1 1/2 cups for later).


4. Bake for 12 minutes.


5. Stir together the sweetened condensed milk and peanut butter; spread over the baked oatmeal layer.


6. Sprinkle M&M’s and chocolate chips on top.


7. Sprinkle the remaining oatmeal mixture on top and press down gently.


8. Bake for 20 minutes or until golden brown.

How do you store Monster Cookie Bars?

I recommend letting them cool on the counter before cutting. Store them in an airtight container at room temperature for up to 5 days or in the freezer for up to 2 months. When you take them from the freezer, simply let them come to room temperature on the counter! Or, let’s be honest…. I’d never be able to wait for a treat to thaw. Toss a bar in the microwave for 10-15 seconds and enjoy!!

Some of my other favorite cookie bar recipes include…

Butterscotch Brickle Bars – Buttery shortbread crust with a butterscotch pecan topping!
Oh Henry Bars – Chewy oatmeal base topped with a combo of chocolate and peanut butter!
Raspberry Bars – Rich, buttery crust, a flavorful raspberry filling and a drizzle of icing on top!

Cobb salad

The cobb salad is a main-dish American garden salad that’s created with chicken, bacon, eggs, avocado, tomato, red onions, blue cheese, and drizzled with a tangy red wine vinegar dressing.

When you’re looking for a meal that will satisfy your hunger, a classic Cobb salad recipe has everything you could possibly crave. The kitchen sink of salads, it was invented in the 1920’s by the store manager of the original Brown Derby restaurant in Hollywood California, Bob Cobb. Thanks to his creativity and desire for variety, it’s now an American staple and one that you can easily make at home.

I’ve got to admit, there are a lot of components, but nothing you can’t tackle. Tender chicken breast, crispy bacon, hard-boiled eggs, blue cheese, and lots of vegetables. What brings all of the rich and creamy ingredients together is the bright red wine vinegar dressing. The cobb salad requires a little bit of prep work, but it’s worth the delicious results.

How To Make a Cobb Salad

Three things need to be cooked in a cobb salad, the eggs, bacon, and chicken in that order. For easy to peel hard-boiled eggs I’ve found three reliable methods; boiling, steaming or pressure cooking. The eggs can be made in advance so you can just crack and go!

The bacon is cooked in a hot skillet until nice and crispy. I make oven roasted bacon every week, so I always have it on hand to help cut down on prep time. If the bacon is already pre-made, just add 1 tablespoon of olive oil for sauteeing the chicken.

The chicken breast is seasoned with paprika, salt, and pepper. These ingredients make the white meat flavorful and help create a beautiful crust. When sauteeing chicken breast in a skillet, I like to flatten the pieces to even thickness, about 1/2″ to 3/4″ so that the lean meat cooks at the same time and doesn’t dry out.

Making a homemade salad dressing like my balsamic vinaigrette is one of the easiest things to prepare in just a few minutes. The cobb salad is typically either served with a blue cheese dressing or a lighter french. As much as I enjoy a creamy, cheesy dressing, the cobb salad can quickly get heavy with the bacon and avocado.

To brighten things up and help refresh the palate, a tangy red wine dressing is made to toss and drizzle over. It’s a simple combination of red wine vinegar, olive oil, shallots, and Dijon mustard, that’s it!

Now for the fun part of making the salad, serving! This recipe can be made in a large bowl served family-style, or in 4 smaller salad bowls. Arrange the chicken on top of the lettuce in the center, and the rest of the ingredients in little piles around it.

You can also toss the ingredients together with the dressing, so it’s easier to portion, however, it just doesn’t look as pretty. When this cobb salad hits the dinner table, I promise it will disappear in minutes!

More Salad recipes

If you make this recipe, please let me know! Leave a comment, rate it, and don’t forget to tag a photo #jessicagavin on Instagram. I’d love to see what you come up with. Cheers, friends!

How to Keep a Salad Dressing from Separating

A salad dressing is creating an emulsion, mixing two ingredients (olive and vinegar) that do not normally combine and keeping it suspended. Most salad dressings are semi-permanent emulsions, meaning eventually they will separate over time. There are some things you can do to make the emulsion stay long enough to enjoy the salad. Mustard helps to keep a longer suspension and acts an emulsifying agent. A small amount of mayonnaise can also be added if storing the dressing for longer than a few hours. Make sure to add the oil to the vinegar gradually, and briskly whisk to break the oil into small droplets to create a thickened dressing.

Cinco de mayo recipes

While the most obvious choice for celebrating Cinco de Mayo might be your old taco night standbys and a big bowl of guacamole, for the ultimate spread, we recommend branching out and trying some new dishes. Impress your fellow margarita-drinking buddies with your vast knowledge of Mexican cuisine, from spicy soups to chalupas you won’t find at Taco Bell. Don’t forget the essential every-kind-of-hot-sauce bar either. Try these 15 Mexican-inspired recipes for the most delicious fiesta.

1. Elote: This tasty street food snack is so fun to eat. Try grilling the corn instead of boiling for a nice char and smokey flavor — either way, they’re getting slathered in mayonnaise and cotija cheese, so they’re bound to please. (via So Munch Love)

2. Chicken Flautas With Avocado Crema and Ancho Chile and Tamarind Sauce: These chicken flautas are the ideal finger food for a party. Because the contents are baked and sealed inside a rolled tortilla, you won’t even need a fork and knife to eat them. They make a great portable bite for those times when your favorite song comes on and you *have* to bust a move. (via Hatchery)

3. Brisket Sopes: If you love tacos, you’ll adore sopes. They’re a traditional Mexican dish made from thick rounds of fried masa, and this version is topped with ultra-tender slow-cooked brisket. Crack open a cold cerveza and enjoy. (via Muy Bueno Cookbook)

4. Jicama, Mango and Citrus Salad: This refreshing salad, full of tropical flavors and fresh citrus, will make you feel like you’re on vacation. There’s no wrong way to enjoy it: Eat it plain or packed into lettuce as a delicious wrap. (via Sobre Mesa)

5. Cheesy Avocado Quesadilla: If you’re short on time but still want to party, these quesadillas are just the dish for you. Upgrade the basic cheese ‘dillas you know and love from childhood with avocado slices and seasoned ground beef, for a hearty bite that’s easy to make but still tastes impressive. (via Damn Delicious)

6. Avocado and Tomatillo Green Chile Salsa and Baked Flour Tortilla Chips: This creamy salsa is like a cross between salsa verde and guacamole. This means it’s highly addictive, so you better have a lot of chips handy. Try it on top of tacos, nachos or even on a torta — this salsa tastes good on *everything*. (via Muy Bueno Cookbook)

7. Easy Restaurant Style White Queso: This ooey, gooey white queso is bound to steal the show at any party thanks to a fiery kick from red pepper flakes and pickled jalapeños. You’d better make extra to feed the margarita-drinking crowd. (via The Cookie Rookie)

8. Churros With Chocolate and Espresso Sauce: What’s better than fried dough and chocolate? If you can come up with something, good for you — we’ll be over here munching on these churros. These amazing, crispy treats are coated in cinnamon sugar and paired with a velvety chocolate and espresso dipping sauce you won’t be able to get enough of. (via Drizzle and Drip)

9. Skinny Mexican Pizza: Quash two cravings at once with Mexican Pizza. Though it’s hard to pinpoint many similarities between this dish and actual pizza (save for its round, open-faced nature), once you take a bite, you’ll get it. Cut into slices and share with friends… or don’t share at all. (via Snixy Kitchen)

10. Ceviche: Use sushi-grade fish for the best taste and peace of mind. Though you’ll be marinating the fish in lime juice, you’ll still want the freshest, best quality product you can get. (via Feasting at Home)

11. Mexican Torta With Refried Beans and Guacamole: Celebrate Cinco de Mayo with the most delicious Mexican sandwich around. Some of the bread is scooped out to make extra room for fillings like refried beans, guacamole and cheese. We’re okay with that, and we might even suggest saving those bread fillings for sopping up any sandwich spillage. You’re welcome. (via Amuse Your Bouche)

12. Mexican Street Corn Salad: Forgo the corn on a stick for a less-messy, easy-to-eat elote salad. Add black beans, red onions and bell peppers to make it more salad-like and colorful. Bonus: The dressing uses yogurt instead of mayonnaise and sour cream for a healthy twist. (via Live Eat Learn)

13. Red Beef Pozole: This traditional Mexican soup is full of tender stewed beef, hominy (dried maize) and a super flavorful red chili sauce. It’d be nice if you had leftovers after your Cinco de Mayo festivities, but don’t count on it — this soup doesn’t play around. (via Muy Delish)

14. Homemade Chalupas: These chalupas are nothing like the kind you’ll find at your local Taco Bell. Set out toppings like shredded beef, avocado, salsa and cheese, and let everyone assemble their own. (via The Stay at Home Chef)

15. Chicken Enchiladas With Salsa Verde: These saucy enchiladas take a little patience to prepare, but they’re totally worth it. Invite some friends to make the process fly by. You’ll need to fry the tortillas, dunk them in sauce, fill and roll, so the more friends on this assembly line the merrier. (via Tasting Table)

Follow us on Pinterest for more easy + delicious recipe ideas.

Chocolate pie

Plowing through Life in the Country. One Calf Nut at a Time

Aug 2019

Chocolate Pie

by The Pioneer Woman on October 8, 2014

Whenever my husband, the strapping stallion I call Marlboro Man, imagines chocolate pie—and I imagine that he imagines it frequently, because it’s one of his favorite desserts—he doesn’t think of French Silk Pie or Chocolate Chiffon Pie or Chocolate Chess Pie or any other variation. He thinks of this one. This is just good ol’ basic, can’t-go-wrong, everyone-loves-it, super-easy-to-make, been-around-forever chocolate pie with a pudding filling, and my beloved could seriously eat a slice every day of his life and never get bored.

I could too, I might add.

And speaking of that: This pie is always one of those things that drives home to me the differences between Marlboro Man and me, and let me explain: In no universe would he ever, ever consider adorning his chocolate pie with anything. Not whipped cream, not fruit, not nuts, not sauces…nothing. To him, that would mar the beautiful simplicity of this luscious dessert and he sees absolutely no logical reason for it.

I, on the other hand, will keep adding stuff to the top of my chocolate pie until my fridge is empty, my pantry is cleaned out, and the cows come home.

Differences make the world go ’round!

Now, the first step to making this homemade pie is to put a storebought frozen pie crust into the oven. Ha. At least that’s what I did. I was out of my frozen crusts and I didn’t feel like making one on the spot, so I used a storebought frozen one.

I am not ashamed.

Now, if you really want to impress your friends, forget about the pie crust and come close to burning it, as I did above.

They’ll be amazed at your talent!

All of that’s about to be forgotten, though, when you make this luscious pie filling, which is nothing more than chocolate pudding. (So consider this a chocolate pudding recipe, too!) Start by putting sugar into a saucepan…

With some cornstarch…

Add a little salt (about a fourth a teaspoon; don’t be thrown off by the 1/2 teaspoon measure you see here, as I only added half. Don’t be like me)…

Stir it together gently—I say gently, because if you stir it violently or vigorously, you will create a cloud of cornstarch in your kitchen! And who needs that.

Now, pour in some whole milk. Normally, I’d say “or you can use 2% or skim milk” but in this case, I absotively, posilutely insist that you use whole milk! You must! It makes the pie creamier and gives it the texture it needs. You can always use the skim milk on your Wheaties tomorrow!

Sorry for being bossy.

Separate four eggs…

Pour in the yolks…

Then stir it together and start heating it up over medium heat, stirring very gently but constantly.

The bubbles will calm down and it will start to heat up and thicken. This will seem to take forever at first…

But then, before you know it, it starts to bubble/boil! Right after it starts to boil and thicken, you need to remove it from the heat.

Oh! I forgot to tell you that way earlier, I grabbed some bittersweet chocolate…

And chopped it really finely.

(Note on the chocolate: I have tried this pie with cocoa powder, with semi-sweet chocolate, with unsweetened chocolate…and I prefer bittersweet. You can play around with the different chocolates to see what you like.)

It’s important to have the chocolate all chopped and ready ahead of time, because the second you pull the filling/pudding off the heat, you’ll want to throw it right in…

With some vanilla…

And stir it around to start melting the chocolate, which will happen pretty much instantly because of how hot and lovely it is.

The final step, of course, is to add a little butter for silkiness, flavor, and richness…

And stir it until it melts. Again, this should only take about 4.2 seconds.

Pour it into the baked (and cooled!) pie shell…

Then smooth it out, lick whatever you use to smooth it, and pop the pie in the fridge (uncovered) for at least 3-4 hours. You want it to be totally cool and set!

This filling amount is enough for a deep-dish pie crust, so when I use a standard crust, I always have a little filling left over. So I just scoop it into little cups…

And stick those in the fridge. Ready-to-go pudding!

At long last! The pie is chilled and ready. And gorgeous. And seductive. And irresistible.

Just like Marlboro Man.

Cut a nice, big wedge…

And, if you’re serving it to my husband, just stick it on a plate.

Positively perfect pie!

If I’m eating it, though? Oh, how about some squirt whipped cream and a raspberry?

How about some chocolate syrup?

I actually forced myself to stop there, but I could have gone nuts (literally): Chopped pecans, chopped walnuts…and man, oh man, a drizzle of caramel sauce would be just decadent.

Here’s the handy dandy printable. Make it today! It’s the easiest pie there is. (Note that you could change it up and do an Oreo or graham cracker crust—totally delicious, too.)